He was known as ‘No Frills Kyle’ and had a mischievous streak amid his quiet and gentle nature.
Subscribe now for unlimited access.
$0/
(min cost $0)
or signup to continue reading
Kyle Martin was also musical, loved his cats and and his family.
“Kyle’s presence is still so strong. You find yourself searching a lot,” his mother Sandra says.
Her 21-year-old son drowned in a boating accident on Pejar Dam in December, 2013, leaving a devastated family.
Jo Cunningham relates only too well to her friend’s deep sense of loss. In May, 2012 her son, 18-year-old Hugo, took his life. He was a sociable boy who liked a party but cared deeply about social injustice.
“It was just unadulterated grief...It is such a sense of longing...to talk to him and hug him,” she said.
The two women knew each other years ago when their other sons were friends and spent time at each other’s home. When Hugo started school, Mrs Martin was his teacher.
Tragic circumstances drew Mrs Cunningham and Mrs Martin together again and each have found solace in sharing their feelings.
Now they want to help others. The pair is starting a Goulburn chapter of Compassionate Friends, a worldwide organisation offering friendship, support and hope to bereaved parents, siblings and their families.
Both women said the support available when they lost their sons was not suited to their needs.
“I was referred to a psychologist but it wasn’t my head that needed fixing, it was my heart,” Mrs Martin said.
“Jo and I had that connection and we were able to talk about the hard times...The grief of losing a child is so confusing and it’s about making sense of it.”
Mrs Cunningham said it was difficult at first to process how she would endure the grief. Much of the time she was looking out for her family’s needs and pushing her own to the background.
“But I felt after Hugo that I didn’t want to be stuck in grief, as I’d seen it happen to other people. I was worried about getting into a group situation where people were held back by their grief,” she said.
“But after meeting people in the Sydney chapter of Compassionate Friends, I saw that every story was different. It was a bond of shared experience.”
Slowly she placed more emphasis on the word ‘hope’ and a little bit of light shone through the door.
That’s the type of hope they want to offer others through Compassionate Friends. The group will be launched at a candle lighting ceremony in Belmore Park on Friday, December 8 from 6pm to 8pm.
It is open to anyone grieving the loss of a loved one. People are invited to bring a photo of the person, to say their name when called and write their name in a candle lighting book.
Kyle Malone and Joseph Conroy will provide music and Mrs Martin will read a poem on the night.
“It’s a chance for people to share their stories and for us to give hope and encouragement that they can survive,” Mrs Martin said.
Compassionate Friends will meet on the first Wednesday of each month, starting in February at St Joseph’s school hall, Reynolds Street, Goulburn. For more information call Sandra on 0488 908 216.