Sometimes I think I have a rare kind of genius.
It comes from being able to recall in vivid detail the lyrics to possibly thousands of songs, at the same time I am constantly forgetting where I put things.
I can recite dozens of comedy sketches word for word, even get all the words of the occasional Monty Python movie correct, but forget names within half a second of being introduced to a person.
The phone numbers of all my ex-girlfriends from decades ago are still tucked away in my grey matter, but important numbers that I need to call every day? Well, that's what we have directories for.
Sometimes I wonder if my head is so full of random nonsense that there is no room for anything else, which is why I am great at trivia nights but terrible at trying to work out why I walked from one room to the next.
I'm sure I did it to get something - but what?
However the biggest and brightest example of my genius came recently when I lost my mobile phone.
I searched everywhere throughout my home, my work area, bedrooms I rarely went into, under furniture that was difficult to move - pulling out all stops in the panic that comes from losing your phone.
When it became clear the phone was nowhere in the house I realised it might have fallen out of my pocket while I was driving my car.
So I searched my car, even trying to look under the seats.
But it was dark under there, so I pulled my mobile phone out of my pocket to use the torch.
So there I was, using the torch on my mobile phone ... to search ... for my phone.
The worst thing was it took a few moments for me to realise what I was doing - getting frustrated at not being able to see clearly under the seat and cursing the things ion the way, even reaching under the chair to provide better illumination.
Then it hit me.
As I said, that requires a rare kind of genius.