If you say them and somebody groans, shakes their head or shudders at how on-the-nose and lame they are, then congratulations, you have done your job.

So here is a bunch of Christmas-themed jokes to tell this holiday season.

What happens when you eat Christmas decorations?

You get tinsel-itis!

What's the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet?

Well, the Christmas alphabet has Noël.

What did one Christmas tree say to another?

Lighten up!

What kind of music do elves like to listen to?

Wrap!

What do elves learn in school?

The elf-abet.

What do you call an obnoxious reindeer?

Rude-olph.

Why is it so difficult to buy advent calendars?

Their days are numbered.

What happened to the elf who stole a calendar?

He got 12 months.

What do you call a broke Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.

Why does Santa go down the chimney?

Because it soots him!

What is Santa's dog's name?

Santa Paws!

What did Santa say when he stepped in a puddle?

It looks like it reindeer.

What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

A Holly Davidson.

How much did Santa's sleigh cost?

It was on the house!

How do Christmas angels greet each other?

With 'Halo!'

Who is a Christmas tree's favourite singer?

Spruce Springsteen

How do you decide to cook Christmas pudding or Christmas tarts?

Well, the proof is in the pudding.